It goes to say that people who have achieved much in life through personal hard work and conscious efforts will enjoy high self-esteem...they seem to walk a little taller and smile a little wider than the average persons. And people who coast through lives and have nothing to show tend to suffer from low self-esteem that have them feeling like losers or failures - they hang their heads low and avoid eye contact.
It's not the outcome that led to the behaviour but the behaviour that led to the outcome
People don't necessarily think much about:
skipping a day of exercise that they've scheduled in their week;
being sloppy in their work (especially if they are reluctant to do it);
giving up at the first sign of obstacle or challenge;
not working on the goals that they have set for themselves, however small; and/or
not doing what's right because of fear or laziness
These decisions may seem negligible on their own but repeat them over and over again, a big part of one's self-esteem would have been eaten away.
Your self-esteem is keeping score
Each time you didn’t put in your best; you didn’t do what you thought was right or promised you’d do; you left things incomplete, your self-esteem gets eroded a little.
Its impact will not be felt immediately because the change effected by each occurrence is so subtle. But do it enough times and it will reel its ugly head one day --- suddenly you realise that you are much less confident than before and your self-esteem is at all-time low.
The next time you set on a new task, your inner self engages in a dialogue that you may not even be aware of:
“You didn’t persevere the last time, remember?”
“You didn’t do the right thing that time, remember?”
"You didn't finish that, remember?"
“You didn’t make good of your own promises...you let yourself down, remember?”
“You gave up that time, remember?"
"What would make it different this time?”
This is when feelings of being not-good-enough; incapable of achieving something; self-doubt come up to the surface because time and again before, you have proven to yourself that you can't. Chant "I deserve!" or "I can do it!" all you want...I bet even you're feeling a tad guilty about it.
Our subconscious is wise and powerful. Much as your conscious mind would like to believe that you can, your subconscious knows that your actions don't support that claim. Hence, what the conscious mind says is overruled.
Feel good about & proud with yourself again
But here's the good news - you can rebuild your self-esteem and feel good about yourself once again. Think of it as depositing back what you have withdrawn...
by proving to yourself that you can.
Keep to your discipline. Do to your best abilities. Do what's right, not what's easy. And start with the tiniest of things - your daily habits. Because if you can't even do a simple thing well, what greater things can you expect to achieve?
Want to change the World? Start by making your own bed.
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